Friday, November 4, 2016

#16 When to leave the nest

For me this was not a problem.  I left when I enlisted in the US Army.  For our children it was for all practical purposes when they went to college.  It was hard for me when the youngest went away to SD.  The older one was already settled in ID.  I saw her often because I traveled thru the town.  The youngest was hard for me to leave her at the school.  Maybe because she was my baby girl.  But I think it was time.  She was only two hours away and we saw her often.  They still come and visit, call often.  Home is where Mom and Dad live.  But they each have their own home and we used to visit their homes regular.  Now that my health does not allow me to travel as freely, not as much.  Still look forward to their visits to Mom and Dad.

Moving away from home brings a considerable amount of responsibility.  Income to pay rent, food, clothes, entertainment and so on.  These things need to be addressed before you make the decision.  A plan needs to be thought out and many things considered.  You might think 'I will be able to do what I want".  Maybe so but not always.  Responsible choices, good planning, and a desire to succeed are also necessary.  If you do decide to move out, sit down with your parents and make a plan.  Outline who is paying for what.  Make the process as pleasant as possible.  Hard breakups between parents and children are never good. 

When you leave the nest you take on more responsibility.  Just because you leave home doesn't mean they are through with you.  You will still need their love and support.  They will need your love and support.  A family together is a strong family.

As I have always told you choose wisely.

Pappy1
     

5 comments:

Kteach said...

Very well said.

RedRed said...

I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that we covered all of your points during our chat with Tristan tonight. He is only in the beginning stages of thinking of moving out and he admitted that he hadn't considered many of the points we brought up in the discussion. I think he will be ok and that it will all work out. I'll keep you posted!

Pappy1 said...

Our thoughts are on the same page.

Pappy1 said...

Our thoughts are on the same page.

Lizzie Wann said...

I remember very well the day you dropped me off at my UCSD dorm. It was emotional. But, for me, it was the next thing to do.
All of your points in this post are spot on. I know T is at a crossroads. I know he has support and lots of love. I hope he doesn't discount any of that as he maneuvers these big life decisions. Love you!